Snipped from The Chicago Tribune: 

New research published in the August issue of Archives of Sexual Behavior has come up with a list of 237 reasons that motivate people to have sex.

Jeez Louise! Seems to me like researchers have too much time on their hands today. Whatever happened to plain old horny (#32)?

My personal favorites are #7 “I wanted to feel closer to God” and # 169 “I wanted to give someone else a sexually transmitted disease (e.g., herpes, AIDS)”. Priceless!!

Here’s the entire list:

1. I was “in the heat of the moment.”
2. It just happened.
3. I was bored.
4. It just seemed like “the thing to do.”
5. Someone dared me.
6. I desired emotional closeness (i.e., intimacy).
7. I wanted to feel closer to God.
8. I wanted to gain acceptance from friends.
9. It’s exciting, adventurous.
10. I wanted to make up after a fight.
11. I wanted to get rid of aggression.
12. I was under the influence of drugs.
13. I wanted to try to get a better mate than my current mate.
14. I wanted to express my love for the person.
15. I wanted to experience the physical pleasure.
16. I wanted to show my affection to the person.
17. I felt like I owed it to the person.
18. I was attracted to the person.
19. I was sexually aroused and wanted the release.
20. My friends were having sex and I wanted to fit in.
21. It feels good.
22. My partner kept insisting.
23. The person was famous and I wanted to be able to say I had sex with him/her.
24. I was physically forced to.
25. I was verbally coerced into it.
26. I wanted the person to love me.
27. I wanted to have a child.
28. I wanted to make someone else jealous.
29. I wanted to have more sex than my friends.
30. I was married and you’re supposed to.
31. I was tired of being a virgin.
32. I was “horny.”
33. I wanted to feel loved.
34. I was feeling lonely.
35. Everyone else was having sex.
36. I wanted the attention.
37. It was easier to “go all the way” than to stop.
38. I wanted to ensure the relationship was “committed.”
39. I was competing with someone else to “get the person.”
40. I wanted to “gain control” of the person.
41. I was curious about what the person was like in bed.
42. I was curious about sex.
43. I wanted to feel attractive.
44. I wanted to please my partner.
45. I wanted to display submission.
46. I wanted to release anxiety/stress
47. I didn’t know how to say “no.”
48. I felt like it was my duty.
49. I wanted to end the relationship.
50. My friends pressured me into it.
51. I wanted the adventure/excitement.
52. I wanted the experience.
53. I felt obligated to.
54. It’s fun.
55. I wanted to get even with someone (i.e., revenge).
56. I wanted to be popular.
57. It would get me gifts.
58. I wanted to act out a fantasy.
59. I hadn’t had sex for a while.
60. The person was “available.”
61. I didn’t want to “lose” the person.
62. I thought it would help “trap” a new partner.
63. I wanted to capture someone else’s mate.
64. I felt sorry for the person.
65. I wanted to feel powerful.
66. I wanted to “possess” the person.
67. I wanted to release tension.
68. I wanted to feel good about myself.
69. I was slumming.
70. I felt rebellious.
71. I wanted to intensify my relationship.
72. It seemed like the natural next step in my relationship.
73. I wanted to be nice.
74. I wanted to feel connected to the person.
75. I wanted to feel young.
76. I wanted to manipulate him/her into doing something for me.
77. I wanted him/her to stop bugging me about sex.
78. I wanted to hurt/humiliate the person.
79. I wanted the person to feel good about himself/herself.
80. I didn’t want to disappoint the person.
81. I was trying to “get over” an earlier person/relationship.
82. I wanted to reaffirm my sexual orientation.
83. I wanted to try out new sexual techniques or positions.
84. I felt guilty.
85. My hormones were out of control.
86. It was the only way my partner would spend time with me.
87. It became a habit.
88. I wanted to keep my partner happy.
89. I had no self-control.
90. I wanted to communicate at a “deeper” level.
91. I was afraid my partner would have an affair if I didn’t have sex with him/her.
92. I was curious about my sexual abilities.
93. I wanted a “spiritual” experience.
94. It was just part of the relationship “routine.”
95. I wanted to lose my inhibitions.
96. I got “carried away.”
97. I needed another “notch on my belt.”
98. The person demanded that I have sex with him/her.
99. The opportunity presented itself.
100. I wanted to see what it would be like to have sex while stoned (e.g., on marijuana or some other drug).
101. It’s considered “taboo” by society.
102. I wanted to increase the number of sex partners I had experienced.
103. The person was too “hot” (sexy) to resist.
104. I thought it would relax me.
105. I thought it would make me feel healthy.
106. I wanted to experiment with new experiences.
107. I wanted to see what it would be like to have sex with another person.
108. I thought it would help me to fall asleep.
109. I could brag to other people about my sexual experience.
110. It would allow me to “get sex out of my system” so that I could focus on other things.
111. I wanted to decrease my partner’s desire to have sex with someone else.
112. It would damage my reputation if I said “no.”
113. The other person was too physically attractive to resist.
114. I wanted to celebrate something.
115. I was seduced.
116. I wanted to make the person feel better about herself/himself.
117. I wanted to increase the emotional bond by having sex.
118. I wanted to see whether sex with a different partner would feel different or better.
119. I was mad at my partner, so I had sex with someone else.
120. I wanted to fulfill a previous promise to my partner.
121. It was expected of me.
122. I wanted to keep my partner from straying.
123. I wanted the pure pleasure.
124. I wanted to dominate the other person.
125. I wanted to make a conquest.
126. I’m addicted to sex.
127. It was a favor to someone.
128. I wanted to be used or degraded.
129. Someone offered me money to do it.
130. I was drunk.
131. It seemed like good exercise.
132. I was pressured into doing it.
133. The person offered to give me drugs for doing it.
134. I was frustrated and needed relief.
135. It was a romantic setting.
136. I felt insecure.
137. My regular partner is boring, so I had sex with someone else.
138. I was on the “rebound” from another relationship.
139. I wanted to boost my self-esteem
140. I wanted to get my partner to stay with me.
141. Because of a bet.
142. It was a special occasion.
143. It was the next step in the relationship.
144. I wanted to get a special favor from someone.
145. I wanted to get back at my partner for having cheated on me.
146. I wanted to enhance my reputation.
147. I wanted to keep warm.
148. I wanted to punish myself.
149. I wanted to break up a rival’s relationship by having sex with his/her partner.
150. I wanted to stop my partners’ nagging.
151. I wanted to achieve an orgasm.
152. I wanted to brag to friends about my conquests.
153. I wanted to improve my sexual skills.
154. I wanted to get a job.
155. I wanted to get a raise.
156. I wanted to get a promotion.
157. I wanted to satisfy a compulsion.
158. I wanted to make money.
159. I wanted to keep my partner satisfied.
160. I wanted to change the topic of conversation.
161. I wanted to get out of doing something.
162. I wanted to test my compatibility with a new partner.
163. I wanted to get a partner to express love.
164. I wanted to put passion back into my relationship.
165. I wanted to prevent a breakup.
166. I wanted to become one with another person.
167. I wanted to get a favor from someone.
168. I wanted to breakup my relationship.
169. I wanted to give someone else a sexually transmitted disease (e.g., herpes, AIDS).
170. I wanted to breakup another’s relationship.
171. I wanted to avoid hurting someone’s feelings.
172. I wanted to make myself feel better about myself.
173. I wanted to get rid of a headache.
174. I was afraid to say “no” due to the possibility of physical harm.
175. I wanted to keep my partner from straying.
176. I wanted to burn calories.
177. I wanted to even the score with a cheating partner.
178. I wanted to hurt an enemy.
179. I wanted to feel older.
181. It was an initiation rite to a club or organization.
182. I wanted to become more focused on work - sexual thoughts are distracting.
183. I wanted to say “I’ve missed you.”
184. I wanted to celebrate a birthday or anniversary or special occasion.
185. I wanted to say “I’m sorry.”
186. I wanted to return a favor.
187. I wanted to say “Thank You.”
188. I wanted to welcome someone home.
189. I wanted to say “goodbye.”
190. I wanted to defy my parents.
191. I wanted to relieve menstrual cramps.
192. I wanted to relieve “blue balls.”
193. I wanted to get the most out of life.
194. I wanted to feel feminine.
195. I wanted to feel masculine.
196. I am a sex addict.
197. I wanted to see what all the fuss is about.
198. I thought it would boost my social status.
199. The person had a lot of money.
200. The person’s physical appearance turned me on.201. The person was a good dancer.
202. Someone had told me that this person was good in bed.
203. The person had beautiful eyes.
204. The person made me feel sexy.
205. An erotic movie had turned me on.
206. The person had taken me out to an expensive dinner.
207. The person was a good kisser.
208. The person had bought me jewelry.
209. The person had a great sense of humor.
210. The person seemed self-confident.
211. The person really desired me.
212. The person was really desired by others.
213. I wanted to gain access to that person’s friend.
214. I felt jealous.
215. The person flattered me.
216. I wanted to see if I could get the other person into bed.
217. The person had a desirable body.
218. I had not had sex in a long time.
219. The person smelled nice.
220. The person had an attractive face.
221. I saw the person naked and could not resist.
222. I was turned on by the sexual conversation.
223. The person was intelligent.
224. The person caressed me.
225. The person wore revealing clothes.
226. The person had too much to drink and I was able to take advantage of him/her.
227. I knew the person was usually “out of my league.”
228. The person was mysterious.
229. I realized I was in love.
230. I wanted to forget about my problems.
231. I wanted to reproduce.
232. I/she was ovulating.
233. I wanted my partner to notice me.
234. I wanted to help my partner forget about his/her problems.
235. I wanted to lift my partner’s spirits.
236. I wanted to submit to my partner.
237. I wanted to make my partner feel powerful.

Well, not quite, but I am proud to announce that Planet Of Porn XXX Directory now is fully operational with 24 categories of free porn for the horny surfer to browse and enjoy! I will of course continue to tweak and update the directory regularly, adding new links to quality hardcore filth on a daily basis, so bookmark right away!

Just thought I’d pop in here to let my 2 surfers (according to server stats) know that I have come out of hibernation to complete my project on Planet Of Porn Adult XXX Directory. It’s really not that big of a job, but I suffer from an advanced case of procrastinitis, and I also have the attention span of a two-year-old with ADD. I’m back on my meds and should have a functional directory by the end of next week. Tell all your friends about the Grand Opening Gala and be sure to bring plenty of paper towels (I’ve found that Brawny sucks up cum like an old crack whore badly in need of a fix)!

Yup, it’s proven; access to Internet porn reduces the occurence of rape. Quite the opposite of what the right-wing religious fundies want us to believe. A new study shows that a 10 percent increase in Net access yields about a 7.3 percent decrease in reported rapes.

I was never ashamed of what I’m doing for a living, but now that it’s a scientific fact that I’m de facto fighting and reducing violent sex crimes by flinging porn it may be time to tell Mom what I do. Finally she can be proud of me! And all you pervs sitting at home whacking off by your computers, you are doing society a service as well. There’s no telling what you would do without guys like me!

A joint study released today by the National Institute of Porn and the Center for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta, GA concludes that 99.9% of American males between the ages of 9 and 106 very strongly or strongly prefer large, soft and natural rather fake, hard and lumpy breasts when it comes to tit-fucking.

“This hardly comes as a surprize,” said Chairman of the National Institute of Porn, Big John Mega-Schlong III, in a statement. “Nothing beats rubbing your dick between naturally large and soft breasts, preferably lightly oiled, as opposed to the unnatural abrasiveness of fake tits,” said the Chairman.

“We have known for a long time that the vast majority of reported cases of cockburn in the US happen as a result of indiscriminate tit-fucking of women with surgically enhanced breasts,” he said. “Furthermore it is an alarming fact that the number of penile skin grafts trailing the trend of boob jobs has skyrocketed by a whopping 900% since 1985.”

The National Institute of Porn and the CDC strongly urge women contemplating having their boobs done to reconsider. Not only is it scientifically proven to be detrimental to a good tit-fuck, it could also land you a jail sentence. In a precedence setting case last year a woman was convicted on charges of aggravated genital assault with an abrasive weapon and sentenced to 9 months in prison. Now she’s somebody’s bitch and is regularly traded for cigarettes in the communal washroom in an upstate corrections facility. Her victim is still undergoing treatment, and his doctors are hopeful that he will regain full use of his penis, although possibly with reduced sensitivity. As Chairman Mega-Schlong so succinctly said, “don’t fuck around with fake boobs, it ain’t worth it”.

Technorati Tags: boobs, natural boobs, tit fucking, big tits, natural tits

1. To find a woman you need time and money, therefore:
   Woman = Time x Money
2. Time is money, so:
   Time = Money
3. Therefore:
   Woman = Money × Money
   Woman = (Money)²
4. “Money is the root of all problems”
   Money = √problems
5. Therefore:
   Woman = (√problems)²
   Woman = Problems

A Brazlian webmaster was arrested in Orando, FL, on charges of conspiracy to distribute obscene material.

According to documents filed in the District Court in Orlando, Croce and his corporation, Lex Multimedia, operated Web sites offering obscene videos for download or delivery in the U.S. The videos depicted bukkake, fisting and depictions of defecation, urination and vomiting in conjunction with sex acts. These Web sites are being hosted on Web servers in Texas. Croce’s videos are delivered to his U.S. customers by mail and common carriers from a location in Orlando, Fla.

Sex, vomiting and defecation? Not exactly my cup of tea, but it does sound reminiscent of some parties I went to when I was younger.

Apparently not according to this website dedicated to debunking all the slanderous myths about the good reverend Jerry Falwell being a perverted sex fiend.

So let’s get things straight once and for all: The Tele Tubbies are fags, Jerry Falwell is not. He may be a raving right-wing christian fascist lunatic, but he does NOT enjoy being fucked in the ass by black men with huge schlongs.

Technorati Tags: jerry falwell, religious hypocrite, religious bigot, homophobic

I thought it was worth mentioning in case anyone had forgotten:

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press, or the right of the people peaceably to assemble. and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

Some times you wonder if it’s all just talk, fine words reserved for speeches when we need to remind ourselves that America is the greatest nation on earth.

George Orwell and Ray Bradbury were very perceptive people . . .

Things are looking good with the revamp of Planet Of Porn. Of course you won’t know this for a week or two yet since the site is temporarily closed, but once we re-open watch out! There will be literally thousands upon thousands of links to freesites, galleries and blogs with tons of hardcore porn pics and movies. Stay tuned!